


unspoken yet present

by qippy



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Gen, M/M, can be read as platonic, listen I love the broduce101 trainees so much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-06-21
Packaged: 2018-11-16 23:23:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11263161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qippy/pseuds/qippy
Summary: “Hyungseob-hyung talked about you again,” is the first thing that greets Woojin when he wakes from his accidental-but-not-really-accidental nap.





	unspoken yet present

“Hyungseob-hyung talked about you again,” is the first thing that greets Woojin when he wakes from his accidental-but-not-really-accidental nap.

Body still fatigued from the days of practice and filming leading up to the finale of Produce 101, Woojin knows he needs to finish packing. He can’t help it that his mattress looks more appealing than packing his luggage and besides, it’s the last time he’ll be able to lie on it for a couple of years – so it makes sense to take advantage of the opportunity, right?

Squinting at a chirpy-looking Daehwi, Woojin sits up, taking care to not hit himself on any of the miscellaneous debris scattered on his mattress. “What?”

“I said,” here, Daehwi thrusts the tablet he’s holding into Woojin’s grasp, “Hyungseob-hyung talked about you. _Again_.”

Woojin’s not sure he likes the way Daehwi emphasises the word _or_ the way that his eyes twinkle mischievously at the word and everything it insinuates. _Honestly_ , maknaes these days – they don’t know their place (and here, Woojin resolutely forgets all about his own tendency to literally throw people around – including his hyungs). Still, Daehwi is cute if a little bit too talkative, and Woojin sighs as he makes room on the mattress for Daehwi to clamber onto and peer over his shoulder as he glances at the screen.

It’s paused just over halfway into a video that Woojin recognises as being on V-App. With some surprise, Woojin notes the two familiar-looking figures on the screen – Hyungseob and Euiwoong. With hair and makeup a little bit different to how he remembers from reality and shot at an angle that makes their faces seem (even more) impossibly beautiful, for a moment Woojin’s brain stops working as he’s torn between finding Hyungseob cute and wanting to lecture him on his camera angles because _his head looks way too huge compared to Euiwoong's!_

Although he isn't usually tactile with his Brand New Music hyungs, Daehwi has clearly grown accustomed to skin-ship in the duration of filming for Produce 101, for he easily rests his chin on Woojin’s shoulder as he looks at the screen. “I forgot to set a timer so couldn’t watch it live,” he’s saying as he wraps a sweater-sleeved arm around Woojin’s shoulders in a very Seonho-esque form of a back-hug, “but you know, we gotta support each other and all, so I figured I could just watch it now, and then Hyungseob-hyung mentioned you, so here we are!” Hitting play before Woojin can get a word in, Daehwi is warm and snug against Woojin as he settles to watch the video.

There’s a few seconds of silence on screen and for a moment Woojin thinks that maybe the video is still paused. But then Hyungseob’s gaze (he’s watching the both of them, not just Hyungseob, _really_ ) flickers upwards, and _something_ crosses his expression before he bursts into laughter, breaking composure as he leans to the side. Hyungseob laughs with his whole body, but does so delicately - is all shaking shoulders and ringing chuckles. With his fist before his face, Euiwoong’s expression would be difficult to read were it not for the mirthful crinkle to his eyes and lift of his cheeks, and it takes a few seconds for Woojin to realise that they’re reacting to one of the comments that they had received during their live broadcast.

“What are they doing?” Woojin mutters as he watches the two fumble for the next few moments of their broadcast, his inner self booming in a voice that sounds suspiciously like Seungwoo’s _‘never have more than a few seconds of silence on broadcast_ ’! His eyes are trained on Hyungseob, who’s struggling to speak, and-

“ _Euiwoong vs Woojin,_ ” Euiwoong’s amused voice sounds through the speakers as on-screen, he folds his arms and looks away in mock-petulance – Woojin feels heat creep up his neck as he realises what question has been asked, and he can feel Daehwi shaking with laughter beside him as on-screen, Hyungseob repeats the question before beginning to answer. Woojin knows that when put on the spot, Hyungseob has a tendency to answer questions rather _creatively_   (he's amazed that Hyungseob's spiel about the moon had made it into the behind cuts) and sure enough, he does in a way that both answers and dodges the question.

(However, Woojin can’t help but to note that Hyungseob’s ears are bright red the whole time – it could be a trick of a camera or natural nerves on screen, but there’s a part of him that _wonders if maybe it's because of him_.)

Daehwi pauses the video as Euiwoong and Hyungseob begin to bicker on-screen, tone lilted in a way that makes his teasing amusement very clear. “That’s not all. He also said you were his fixed pick and that your _sexy baby, oh my lady_ part was a killer part,” Daehwi fiddles with the tablet for a couple of seconds, “ah, here.” Hitting play, Woojin is completely unprepared for the way that Hyungseob raps “ _Sexy baby, oh my lady_ ”, usually gentle tone rough and rhythmic as he stares into the screen in an imitation of Woojin himself.

Although it’s only a few seconds long, Woojin can feel the heat beginning to stir in his veins. He tells himself its from secondhand embarrassment, resolutely not thinking about the fledgling feelings of attraction coursing through him. Shrugging Daehwi off, Woojin feigns nonchalance. “So what? We’ve been friends since All Back team.”

Daehwi scoffs. “Don’t try to pull that one on me, hyung. I know you better than that,” he hesitates, before continuing, “all the fans want you to respond. They say that Hyungseob-hyung’s affection is one-sided.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Woojin responds immediately. When his brain finally catches up with the words he has instinctively spouted, he feels his expression contort in embarrassment as he tucks his face into his arms, “I didn’t mean that,” he hurriedly corrects himself, “well I did, but not in that way. Hyungseob knows that we’re good friends even if I don’t say it on camera.”

“Does he?” Daehwi raises an eyebrow in a move that would be elegant were it not ruined by the backdrop of their dorm clutter.

“Yeah, he does.”

Something about Daehwi’s expression makes Woojin feel uncertain despite his words. He doesn’t know if he’s reassuring Daehwi or himself.

Shrugging, Daehwi clambers off the bed, picking up the tablet as he carefully navigates his way to the door. “If you say so, hyung. Don’t forget that it’s going to be difficult to get in contact once we move in with Wanna One,” he cautions as he disappears out the doorway. 

A few seconds pass in silence now that Woojin has been left alone to his thoughts. 

“Ugh.” Flopping on his back, Woojin stares at the slightly-grimy ceiling. Knowing he’ll never settle down if he doesn’t, he finally gives up and sits back up, reaching for the phone that he knows is going to be confiscated from him once more very soon.

He knows. 

Of course even though all the trainees had promised to keep in contact, only some of them will be able to keep the promises. Oh, it won't be out of maliciousness - everyone had at least been friendly to each other. But it doesn't matter how close you become in a few months, when you're not seeing each other regularly it's normal for distance to make people lose contact with each other. Woojin knows this first-hand, has experienced more than once the awkwardness of stilted conversation with people from home who, in his mind he had been calling his closest friends. Of course there are going to be some who keep up easily on social media and kakao and easily trade verbal for digital, some who aren't restricted by contracts and companies and pseudo-promises masquerading as threats of _'you'll get to use social media when you win number one_ '.

Woojin knows that any information of him that makes its rounds digitally is carefully monitored by the company. 

That's just how things are. 

He knew what things were going to be like when he signed up for this and for a while now, Woojin has been perfectly fine with it. But now that he has a whole bunch of friends - people he admires, loves, has _sweated and bled and fought together with_  - whose futures he struggles to see himself in, Woojin is less secure and more frightened. 

Sometimes he forgets that this is what he signed up for. 

Woojin's fingers have taken him to the contact. 

He hesitates slightly, but before he can chicken out Woojin types in a message and hits send.

 

_[pwj >ahs] Hey_

_[pwj >ahs] You know you’re one of my closest friends right_

 

The reply is way too fast for – Woojin checks the time – midnight. Maybe Hyungseob is using a phone that got sneaked in by himself or one of the other trainees in his dorm.

 

_[ahs >pwj] Of course! Why the sudden message? :)_

 

He knows it’s irrational, but Woojin can’t help but to feel a twinge of – is it guilt? – _something_ at the way that Hyungseob has phrased his response. _Sudden_ , as if he’s unused to getting messages from Woojin, who feels like he talks to Hyungseob a lot – maybe most of the conversations happen in his mind, or he means to tell the other things but forgets to, or feels like he’ll be a bother if he sends too many messages at once, or-

 

_[ahs >pwj] Woojinnie~? You there~?_

_[ahs >pwj] we should talk more whilst we can!! we’re gonna be so busy soon >o<_

 

Lips tugging up at the corners, Woojin’s fingers blur in a flurry of typing as he taps out a reply, packing forgotten.

 

_[pwj >ahs] you’re right_

 

Then, because he’s impulsive and its midnight.

 

_[pwj >ahs] Should we call?_

 

 

_Incoming call – Hyungseobie_

 

 

_“Ah, you picked up!”_ Hyungseob’s greeting washes over Woojin like a smooth wave, tone gentle even in his excitement. _“Have you finished packing?”_

If there’s a record for how many times someone can flush through indirect exposure to another person, Woojin thinks he’d be unbeatable. “No, I haven’t,” he doesn’t really thinks his next words through, but that’s maybe because some part of his brain wanted them to be said, “I wanted to hear your voice.”

There’s a pause.

_“Ah, Woojinnie!”_ Hyungseob’s laugh rings pure even through the low-quality phone speakers, _“there’s a reason you’re my fixed pick after all~”_

“Stop it, we’re not on the show anymore.” His tone comes out less light-hearted than it should be, a bit too biting, cold – Hyungseob pauses for a second too long.

_“That’s true,_ ” chirpy tone mellowing, Hyungseob continues when it’s clear Woojin isn’t going to, _“but that’s okay. I’m proud of you, Woojin. I’m glad that you made it, at least.”_

Here in his room, bags half-packed and mind full with the burden of thoughts and feelings that have been building up for months, Woojin feels the full weight of his young age come crashing down on him. He has no idea _what_ he’s doing or _how_ he’s doing it, he’s been moving on autopilot for so long and plastering on a smile for the cameras that by this point in time, he’s not even sure on who he is anymore.

Has Park Woojin made it into Wanna One, or did someone else step into his skin and take the position for him?

Woojin says none of it.

“What about you?”

Hyungseob hums through the phone. _“I think, as long as we can keep supporting each other, everything will be okay,_ ” he says, voice soft yet reassuring, “ _there’s a lot you’re keeping to yourself, isn’t there?_ ”

Woojin sucks in a breath.

_“It’s okay, I know you weren’t planning on telling me, at least not yet,_ ” Hyungseob continues, unfailingly soothing, “ _but I hope you know you can tell me anything you want, when you’re ready, at your own pace.”_

There’s a pause.

_“That goes with_ everything _,_ ” Hyungseob emphasises, “ _don’t feel like you have to do something just because the others want you to.”_

Woojin has a feeling he knows what Hyungseob’s talking about – he thinks of Daehwi and his teasing glances, of the online comments he’s caught glimpses of, of the fans who wonder whether the ‘Jin’ of the ‘JinSeob’ ship is as invested as the other half.

He wants to tell Hyungseob, wants to spill everything on his mind, but he hasn’t even begun to sort things through inside, let alone blurting it out. There’s so _much_ on his mind right now; he’s caught in a weird transition between trainee and not-trainee, a teenager beginning to step into independence and his public self at variance with his public self.  

“I’m sorry.” Woojin speaks into the phone and wishes he were in a position to apologise properly in person.

_“Don’t apologise, you did nothing wrong.”_ Hyungseob laughs.

“Still, I’m sorry,” Woojin repeats, because until he knows what to say, he won’t be able to say anything at all. He can talk variety all he wants, but fun words for the camera have no place when it comes to sincere matters of the heart. “When I’m ready,” he starts, tone quickening and accent thickening, “when I’m ready, you’ll be the first to know,” he promises.

He means it.

“You’ll be the first, and I’ll say it straight to you,” Woojin continues, “not the cameras, not the world, just – you, okay?” It doesn’t make a lot of sense when he phrases it like this, but he hopes that Hyungseob catches onto all the meaning in his words, is able to receive even the tiniest fraction of affection that Woojin is still struggling to place into words.

_“Of course, Woojinnie,”_ Hyungseob says, _“I’ll be waiting. When you’re ready, okay?”_

He doesn't really know what he's doing, or even if he's doing the right thing.

But somehow, Woojin thinks it'll all be okay in the end. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> * I have such !! strong feelings for all broduce101 trainees ESPECIALLY EUNKI AND KENTA AND-- //is dragged away, kicking and screaming  
> * i live for cute trainee social media updates so guess who's got a (fairly big) social media au in the works? ay ay, it is I  
> * woojin is such a smol, pure bean  
> * i don't listen to asmr but i need an hour of hyungseob reciting poetry or something he has a voice i can listen to for 10 years


End file.
